Can you be in love with two people at the same time? This is a tough question. Love is the most universal thing on the planet.  Love has no limits but many connotations.  Love can be defined as affection, adoration, tenderness, friendship, fondness, passion, devotion, or even worship.  Love can be looked at in many different contexts such as having affection for, expressing pleasure with, or finding someone irresistible.

It would seem that since God is love and He is the perfect example of love, it must be possible to love more than one person at the same time. Right? 

Well…the difference may lie in loving and being in love. What distinguishes one from the other is that love is natural and long standing.  It doesn’t cost anything.  It is freely given .It  is paid in full.  No action required. You may or may not deserve it but, love is unconditional.  Love is what a husband and wife should share and what the relationship becomes over time.  Love is what the Bible is speaking of when it says, two shall become one. 

On the other hand, being in love is based on cause and effect.  It is based on what one does and how it affects the other.  Being in love requires action in order for me to fall in love with you and, it requires more action in order for me to remain in love with you. Therefore, no matter how much you put into it, the possibility is that the return on the investment will not net you the lifetime of love you seek. Thinking that you are in love with two people can only make matters worse.  One will always be able to outdo the other and you will constantly expect and be expected to do something to prove your love.  I don’t know about you, but I think it’s hard to be in love with two people at the same time without treating one different than the other.


Dear Dr. Sam,

I think I am in love with two women. One of them has the personality I always wanted in a women and the other is very successful in her own right, it’s hard how do I make my mind up?

(Craig, 40)



This sounds like a tough decision, but let me ask you this question, which one of these ladies do you see your future with? Craig, when you pick your wife you are picking your future? Take your time and make a good decision.   


Dear Dr. Sam,

How do I get my wife to respond to me properly with all the love and care I will ever need?

(Andy, 40)


Dear Andy,

The first thing that comes to my mind is: What is a “proper” response? You do sound a little selfish and outdated in your thinking.   If you want her to love you a certain way perhaps you should lead by example. In a fair exchange no one feels robbed.  Sounds like you want to get what you are not willing to give.  I suggest you pay closer attention to what your woman wants and needs as it relates to love and love-making; fall in line; and, watch her reciprocate with all the love and care you will ever need.

Dr. Sam’s Secret Garden Tip of the week:        

Ladies, stop chasing men that don’t want you. Stop imagining being with him, talking to him, loving him and changing him. Ladies, stop chasing relationships with men who are not into you. So many of you are creating relationships in your head that don’t exist. Stop chasing ghosts. When you let a man know you are available or he approaches you, if he is interested he will let you know.

For answers to “Ask Dr. Sam,” speaking engagements, or questions and responses go to or email me at check out my sites for everything from new updates, consulting, relationships, business, sex, manhood, empowering women, and health/wellness just to name a few.