Ask Felicia

For the Millennial Ladies in Waiting

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From The Desk Of Felicia

The dating scene for millennials looks like a lot of ladies in waiting and men who are playing their cards with multiple women for as long as they can, before deciding to settle down.  I’ve had conversations with women who are single and not ready to mingle or are practicing abstinence until Prince Charming comes along.  Those are all great and I applaud every woman out there who is getting their lives together first before entering into any relationship.  The one problem and common downfall that I see to these practices are that the ladies in waiting have some pretty high and unrealistic standards, which makes their dating life extremely difficult or their dating experiences short lived.

 Felicia T. Simpson

Here me out on this!  I have a friend who we throw this scenario out in multiple environments to get new perspectives from people just to add on to this conversation.  The scenario is:  She meets a guy who works at say, McDonald’s.  He has all of the qualities that she is looking for in a man, has his own money, car, house or apartment and doesn’t ask her for anything.  He is happy and content working at McDonald’s and has no aspirations to change his place of employment.  Would you date this guy?

Usually the older women and men would agree to a woman dating a man of this caliber but, some millennials are almost unanimously uniting together and saying “No!”  This is not an old school verse new school battle.  I believe it’s more of a reflection of how the different generations have been bought up in life and the rapid access to people and information that technology has given millennials to determine their responses.  I believe that both generations responses are right.

Millennials have grown up in a world where everything is already designed and created for them, including a person they consider dating or marrying.  Whereas, someone like myself, who is close to 40 years old and beyond have seen the hard work and labor it takes to make a relationship last.  So naturally, I would be more inclined to be content and confident being in a relationship with a man who works at McDonald’s as opposed to a millennial.  However, I understand the mindset of a millennial woman waiting on someone with bigger aspirations also.

Since 1997, more black women have become entrepreneurs and steady climbing the corporate ladder and earning more income than their partner.  So by right, they are looking for partners that equally come to the table financially or can contribute more.  There are good men out there no matter what tax bracket they fall into.  Don’t be so blinded by the figures on a W-2 that you miss a good man who could possibly be standing right in front of you.  Of course we know of wealthy men, who can’t commit to a woman (ex., P. Diddy) and then there are men who make decent earnings, will give their all to a woman that they are committed to. 

For the millennial ladies in waiting, don’t equate a man’s financial value to his relational value.  Continue to set your boundaries but make sure that you are being realistic when it comes to who you decide to date and who will become your life partner.