Love gets no respect. Rodney Dangerfield, a famous comedian made a career off of one-liners, but the most famous of them all was “I get no respect.” Rodney went on to say that when, he was born he was so ugly, instead of slapping him the doctor slapped his mother. He got no respect.

Like Rodney Dangerfield, love has a tendency to get no respect.  Everybody wants to be loved, everyone is looking for love, falling in love is sung about, talked about, written about, yet it is an elusive idea that women are trying to catch and men are treating like a disease to stay away from.  Love gets no respect.

Do people understand what true love is? Some people think it’s just words to say in order to get what you want. Others think it’s currency to negotiate a desired outcome in your relationships.  Many men and women play games with love.  Lots of factors come into play when one thinks they are feeling that emotion called love but true love always starts from God. Now I know some of you may be wondering what does that mean. In 1 Corinthians chapter 13, the bible says that a person can have all the knowledge in the world, have faith that can move mountains and give all their money to charity, but if they do not have love they have nothing.

Furthermore, it goes on to say love is patient, kind, it does not envy, boast and it’s not proud. Love is not rude, selfish, not easily angered, does not keep track of wrong doings, does not lie but tell the truth. This love protects, always trust, always hopes, perseveres and this love never fails.

So, why are so many people avoiding love like the plague?   I believe it’s because we don’t first embrace and understand God’s love for us, and second, we don’t accept and love ourselves.   If we don’t do these things it will be difficult, if not impossible to love another in the way described in I Corinthians.  Hard to believe something so beautiful and powerful gets no respect.


Dear Dr. Sam,

What steps would I take to get closer to true love?

(Amanda, 37 New York City)


Thanks Amanda, that’s a great question.

The first thing you should do is love yourself. I know a lot of people say this but in all actually they don’t know how to do it. So focus on being a better you. Secondly, before you enter into a relationship pick the right person. Picking the right person is huge in keeping on track with your life. There used to be an old saying…”study long…study wrong”…  Where did that come from anyway?  This does not apply in love or in most life situations for that matter.   “Do your homework. Take your time, don’t rush.  Study the person you pick.  Do they exhibit any of the qualities mentioned in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13.  You won’t regret spending time to get to know a person and this will bring you closer to true love. Amanda this is a great place to start.

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